Russi Trip 2 - Jan 18 to Jan 26, 2006

Russia Trip 2 - Log 1: "The Train Station"

It's Tuesday January 18, 2005, 11:30 pm Moscow time. We have just arrived in our hotel in Nizhniy Novgorod; the beginning of our journey to pick up Carson and bring the little guy back to Canada. The two months away from Carson has actually passed relatively quickly and I think I managed to keep it together pretty well. My only real moment of weakness came one day over the holidays while I was driving in my car and that "Cats in the Cradle" song came on. I got a little choked up but other than that I think I did OK.

I would like to formally thank everyone back home for all of the support and wonderful baby gifts over the holidays. They look great sitting in my living room. Particularly I would like to thank my darling sisters Maureen, Rosemary and Carol for organizing a thoroughly embarrassing baby shower for me complete with bow hat and breast feeding device! I would also like to thank Jim Colton and Jeff Avery for organizing a "Boys Baby Shower" for me last Saturday. As Mulligan pointed out, that may be the first baby shower in history where the invitation included the phrases " B.Y.O.B." and "we will be serving chips and shit...". Actually I have to give all the guys a lot of credit. Though some people consider them a bunch of beer guzzling Neanderthals I think they all managed to get in touch with their feminine side on Saturday. Case in point, my good friend Mick Dowling announced that he is starting his own babysitting service in his semi-retirement. Mick asked if I could help him build up a client base by giving him a cheap plug in one of my updates. So here goes: the company is called "Mick's Babysitting Service" and here are just a few of the many features as pulled directly from Mick's flyer:

Experienced: Children all over North America
Entertaining: Children love to watch Mick sleep.
Alcohol Free: The second Tuesday of every month.

Any parents of toddlers out there wishing to take advantage of this service can contact Mick directly during the day at 555-2727 or through his parole officer in the evening at 727-4545.

I have one more announcement before getting back to my story of today's adventure. To show you what kind of friends I have, just as I was leaving on Monday I received word from Lance Greger that he will be organizing a traditional "Nanny Interview" party in early February at the Pink Panther club in Aylmer. The guy just keeps on giving. Sign up early for that one guys, it promises to be a popular event.......

Now back to the show....The flight to Moscow was a lot less hectic this time and we arrived on schedule with plenty of time to get to the train station to catch our train to Nizhniy. We were greeted at the airport by our interpreter Olga and we drove directly to the train station and arrived about 2 1/2 hours before our scheduled departure time. Once in the station we went into a waiting area that was not very pleasant at all. Olga pointed out that there was another area adjacent which was much nicer but required payment to get in. We went to check it out and the cost was 125 rubles for the 3 of us for the two hours...about $4.50 US. I noticed they sold beer in there so it was a no-brainer. By the way, the beer was 21 rubles (75 cents) for a 500 ml bottle...and it was good. Darcy Jenkins would have a field day over here.

Once we were settled in the waiting area Carol decided to visit the restroom. The girl in the waiting area said that we would have to use the public washroom upstairs and escorted Carol to it while Olga and I remained. We had been warned several times about the lack of sanitary conditions in the public washrooms in Russia but we were about to find out first hand. When Carol returned she had a look of disbelief on her face and warned me that it was brutal. Unfortunately nature was calling for me also so I figured how bad could it be? Olga decided to come with me. When we got to the entrance to the Women's and Men's washrooms there was a cashier's window like you would see at a movie theatre. There you have to pay 7 rubles to gain access to the facilities. Olga and I both paid and Olga grabbed a handful of toilet paper which was hanging outside the women's restroom door and went in. Inside the men's washroom there were four urinals on one side and 4 stalls on the other. The stalls had wooden doors from floor to ceiling so it was difficult to determine which were vacant. The first door was blocked off by a garbage pail so I assumed it was out of service. The doors on stalls 2 and 3 were shut so I assumed they were busy as there were 2 tough looking characters waiting. They were staring me down and I felt a bit uneasy seeing as though I was carrying all my US $$$$ on me!! The last door was open a bit so I decided to try my luck with door number 4. I opened it up and could not believe what I saw. I'm not going to describe what was in there because some of you might be eating lunch but lets just say I decided to forego lucky doors number 2 and 3 and got the hell out of there! I figured I could hold on until we got on the train. I waited outside for Olga to finish up and when she came out I think she could tell I was a bit shocked. The only thing she said to me was "Remember, you're in Russia now".

After a relaxing 2 hours in the waiting lounge we went outside onto the passenger loading area just as the train was pulling up. As we were standing outside our car waiting for the door to open these two men in what looked like security guard outfits wheeled over a cart with an object on it and stopped about 10 feet directly behind us. I looked over and noticed that there was a white sheet covering whatever was on the cart and though it was dark out there appeared to be blood on one end. I figured that perhaps they had just removed a dead animal from the tracks. Upon closer inspection I realized that whatever animal was on that cart...was wearing boots!! Oh-Oh!! Sure enough 2 minutes later these other 2 guys show up with a metal stretcher and throw it on the ground and the 4 men proceed to roll this dead body onto the stretcher. As they did this we could see that the whole underside of the sheet was soaked in blood. They covered the body with a sheet of plastic, left it there and proceeded to have a smoke and a casual chat like nothing had happened. People were walking by without hardly even noticing. Carol and I looked at each other thinking..."ahhhh, OK...this is a little weird!". We both looked at Olga and she just shrugged as if to say: "Just another day at the old train station!".

Luckily the rest of our trip was rather uneventful. The facilities on the train were acceptable and I was able to catch some shut eye. Once we arrived in Nizhniy Novgorod we were greeted by our old friends Evgeny, Natalia and Kyril. We managed to stuff ourselves and all of our luggage into Kyril's Volga and proceeded to the hotel.

Tomorrow morning we are going to get some documents notarized at 9:30 then we are off to the Orphanage to visit Carson. I'm so excited to see how much he has changed since we were last here. I can't wait to see his beautiful smile and give him a hug!

Well, it's just past 1 am now. Better get some sleep so I'm ready for what tomorrow might bring.

JK



Russia Trip 2 - Log 2: "We Meet Again"

It's Wednesday January 19, 2005 about 9:40 pm Moscow time. I just finished watching an episode of Nick and Jessica-Newlyweds on Russian TV. You'll be happy to know that Jessica Simpson is every bit as annoying in Russian as she is in English. Today we had a great visit with Carson after two months away which was a big relief. In addition, Natalia has informed me that we will most likely be able to take custody of Carson on Saturday morning!! That is assuming everything goes well in court on Friday and the judge agrees to recognize the adoption. I guess I should stop saying "we" will be taking custody because once we get home I'll be left to fend for myself with this little monster. So, barring any unforeseen circumstances, my life as a dad will begin in earnest on Saturday! We will have to wait until perhaps Monday for his Russian passport to be ready then were off to Moscow to take care of the immigration paperwork at the Canadian Embassy there.

We arrived at the orphanage in Dzerginsk today at around 10:30 am and went directly up to the play room. About 10 minutes later the Doctor came up with Carson in her hand, dressed in a light blue sleeper. He was as adorable as ever and, really, his physical appearance did not appear to me to have changed that much. I had been bracing myself to see a whole new little boy but he was very much as I remembered him, appearance wise anyway. He is definitely much taller and stronger around the neck area but he is still toothless and his hair is only slightly thicker than it was back in November. However, when the Doctor passed him over to me I quickly found out that his personality had indeed changed. Whereas back in November when we first met him he was pleasant and playful right from the start with anyone willing to give him a hug; this time it was apparent that there would be no more freebies, I was going to have to earn his affections.

For the first 10 minutes or so he fussed and whined a lot and was obviously not too impressed with his new dad. I tried to calm him down and make him laugh but he was not buying any of it until finally we found the key to this little boy's heart.....TOYS! Carol pulled out some rattles and little toys from my bag and immediately his mood picked up. Within a few minutes we were playing and laughing together as if we had never been apart. I guess, according to the parenting books I've been reading, that can be considered my first bribe!! Oh well, I'll start being a perfect parent tomorrow. As the visit went on Carson became more and more physically active and also more and more vocal. By the end of the visit he was giggling loudly and speaking baby talk. We put him down on his stomach and he was easily able to push himself up into a crawling position. He is just about ready to crawl, he now just has to learn to move his legs one at a time. Once he gets the "left-right-left-right" thing down he'll be on his way. I think he's gonna be a wild man in the Jolly Jumper this one.

At around noon we had to leave because it was Carson's nap time. As we were vacating the room a French couple arrived who were there to visit one of Carson's little friends, a baby girl about the same age. The baby was in fine spirits and the couple were obviously delighted with their soon to be daughter.

The people at the orphanage gave me a feeding and sleep schedule for Carson which Natalia translated so that I can keep him on the same daily routine...at least until I get him back to Canada where I can slowly work him into my routine of Pizza, Diet Coke, late night basketball games on the tube and about 12 hours a day of the golf channel. Actually the routine is pretty basic: two hours up, two hours sleep, two hours up, two hours sleep....... Once I learn what he likes to eat and how to properly feed him we should be all set. We picked up some formula and solid baby food for him on the way home and we'll be setting up a crib for him here in the room so it looks like I'm finally ready to be a Dad.

Before that can happen however I have to go in front of a female judge on Friday afternoon and plead my case for adopting this boy. Natalia has given me a list of 34 questions that she feels may be asked so that I may rehearse my answers. Everything from "Why do you want to be a father?" to "How will you discipline this child?" to "Do you take drugs or alcohol”? I plan on being very honest answering these questions and don't worry, I will definitely tell her about that one time back in University when I had a bit too much to drink!

Of course, among the questions on the list was the obligatory: "Why are you not married”? That's a tough one because honestly I don't know the answer. I've been doing everything right...I think? Flowers, home cooked meals, candlelight, expensive wine, a Lou Rawls CD playing in the background. I don't know...maybe I'm just outta touch with today's woman? Maybe women these days don't like Lou Rawls near as much as I think they do? Anyway I plan on being honest with the judge and mention that I am not gay, not that there's anything wrong with that, but simply explain to her that our cultures are very different and that North American women have a tendency of being demanding, nasty, vengeful, disruptive pains in the ass who sometimes don't allow you to play golf with your buddies. If she doesn't buy that then I'll have to borrow from that old Groucho Marx line: "I'd never marry a woman who would have me as a husband!"

That's all for now folks. Peace and love,

Johnny

P.S. You all realize that I'm just kidding about the North American women thing...there are some good ones out there!



Russia Trip 2 - Log 3: "The Uzbek Canary"

It's January 20, 2005, 10:40 pm Moscow time. Rather uneventful day today so my log will be short, thankfully I'm sure. We went to visit Carson today but unfortunately the little guy had a high fever so we were only able to spend about 10 or 15 minutes with him. They had given him something for the fever so by the time he was given to us he was in pretty good spirits. No playing strange today, he recognized us right from the start and was all smiles as soon as I picked him up. We had a good time but had to give him back after just a brief visit. The next time we see Carson will be Saturday when hopefully he will legally be my son and we will be able to take him with us.

After the visit we took care of some more paperwork at the Notary then drove all over town looking for a place with internet access so that I could send my first two updates since I'm having trouble dialing in from the hotel. Every Internet Cafe and connection center we went to were totally confused when we told them that I wanted to connect my own computer. "Not possible - you must use our computer!" Finally we went to a hotel near the airport that had Wi-Fi and I was connected in seconds. Nizhniy Novgorod is a city of probably over 2 million people and apparently that is the only place in town where I can connect to the Internet with my laptop? Another example of how this society is just beginning to catch up after so many years of communist rule.

Once we had all that stuff out of the way we stopped at a traditional Uzbekistani restaurant for lunch. We invited Natalia and Kyril to join us and they accepted. The restaurant interior was pretty interesting with staff wearing traditional Uzbek garb. Being a connoisseur of fine food from all over the world I went with the traditional Sashlikas and of course the baked Yablakas. The food was absolutely delicious and everyone thoroughly enjoyed the lunch except for one thing. They had a yellow canary in a cage just a few feet away from us. I don't know if "yellow" is required when describing a Canary 'cause maybe they're all yellow...I don't know? Anyway, this one was yellow and it was really loud! At first we found it sort of interesting then after about 10 seconds we were ready to kill the little bastard. He just wouldn't shut up! I started looking for Canary on the menu thinking that it might be like one of those seafood places where you pick your own lobster. The whole scene brought me back to my childhood when my sister Rosemary had this Budgie bird. Actually she had two because we inherited our grandmother's when she could no longer care for it. I'll never forget the day that last Budgie finally kicked it. Me and my Dad were sitting watching TV when we hear this really loud squawk followed closely by the sound of the bird hitting the bottom of the bird cage. My Dad turns to me and says: "I think that thing just croaked!" We tried to pretend that we were upset but secretly it was nice to finally have some peace and quiet in the house (my parents arguing excluded!). I just hope Carson never asks for a bird....or a cat, or a dog, or a hamster, or a snake, etc, etc.

After lunch Natalia came back to our room and we rehearsed for the big court appearance tomorrow. I'm starting to get a little nervous. I hope I don't flame out and come off looking like some chump! My court appearance is at 2 pm tomorrow.

Hope everyone is well...can't wait to get back home with my boy.

JK


Russia Trip 2 - Log 4: "Russian Gruel"

It's 1:30 am Moscow time, Sunday January 23, 2005. I was lying in bed and couldn't hear Carson breathing or sucking on his soother so I decided to check up on him in his crib. He's sleeping fine. Carol is also asleep but she was up with Carson earlier in the evening after he woke himself up by coughing. I really didn't sleep a wink last night with the anticipation of picking up my son so Carol let me sleep while she dutifully took care of my little boy.

As you may have guessed, everything went well at the Court hearing on Friday and we were able to take custody of Carson on Saturday morning. My first day as a dad has been great; Carson is a real angel. Unfortunately he has a very bad cough and congestion making it difficult for him to sleep but other than that he is in fine spirits.

The court proceeding was interesting to say the least. The regular court building was damaged by a fire so we had to go to this run down old building. The courtroom was like a very old elementary school classroom but only about half the size. At the front of the room there was the judge's table in front of which there was a court clerks desk on her left and the government attorney's on her right. Facing the Judges desk were three rows of benches. Natalia and I were in the first row. A representative from the Ministry of Education and a representative of the Orphanage were in the second row. In the cheap seats were Gene (Evgeny) and Carol who was given permission by the judge to watch the proceedings. The judge was a very serious and mean looking old lady with her hair pulled back tightly and a constant scowl. The proceeding started with the Judge asking me some basic questions: my name, address, occupation, etc. Then she asked if I had any requests and I got up and requested that the 10 day waiting period for obtaining a passport be waived due to Carson's medical condition. The hearing started at 2 pm and all those formalities took only a few minutes then I had to get up in front of the judge to plead my case. The difficult part was that the judge doesn't ask any questions, I just had to ramble on about who I am and why I would be a suitable parent for this boy. I guess I was up there for about 45 minutes or so going through each of the 34 items that were on the list Natalia had given me. Naturally I would have to pause after every sentence so Natalia could translate for the judge.

After I was finished the judge asked me a few questions most of which were repetitions of what I had already stated. She did ask a couple of nasty questions such as have you ever abused or sexually molested a child but I am sure those are standard questions that she is obliged to ask. When the judge was finished the government attorney got up and asked me a few questions, again same stuff I had already stated. The lady from the Ministry asked me one question then the process was complete. The attorney then summarized the case, the ladies from the ministry and from the orphanage got up and made statements in my support and then we left the room. We returned to the courtroom about 10 minutes later when the judge read the decree granting me custody of Carson and also waived the 10 day waiting period. I guess at that point I legally became Carson's father! Carol and I went out to dinner to celebrate while Natalia and Gene ran around doing more paperwork to get Carson's passport ready for Monday.

.................I hear Carson stirring....I hope he doesn't wake up...............

On Saturday Morning at 10:30 our driver Kyril and Natalia picked us up at the hotel for the trip to the Orphanage. Apparently Gene wanted to come along but there wasn't enough room in the Volga. On the way to the hotel Natalia picked up some champagne and two cakes on my behalf. It is custom when picking up a child to bring cake and champagne so that afterward the staff can celebrate the adoption of the child and make a toast to his good health and happiness. When we arrived we went straight to the Orphanage Director's office. I presented him with a gift, a pictorial book of the sites of Ottawa, as well as a cash donation to the orphanage. He accepted in typical Russian fashion, no smile, no expression, no emotion. He went back to his paperwork but a few minutes later he pulled out a long list of all the things that would be purchased with the donation. Various items of clothing and shoes, all in very large quantities. He then stated, through Natalia's translation of course, that this donation would provide a full year's clothing supply for the orphanage. This shocked Carol and I since the cash amount was probably not enough to cover one of Janer McIntyre's weekend shopping sprees at "GAP Kids"!!. It's amazing what great care they give these children with so little.

A few minutes later they arrived with Carson and he was all smiles and bubbly...I think he could tell something was up. We stripped him naked and used our own diapers and clothing to dress him back up. The sleeper I put him in was a few sizes too big and the snowsuit was about 5 sizes too big but he looked nice and snuggly inside it. On the drive home his eyes were as big as silver dollars as he looked at all the new sites passing by. I don't think this little guy has been out much at all. We dropped Carol and Carson off at the hotel while Natalia and I went out to get some medicine for him and to do some banking. When I returned about an hour later Carson was sound asleep in his crib in the hotel room.

After Carson woke we gave him some apple juice then we put him into his stroller and headed down to the little restaurant since Carol and I hadn't eaten all day. We had a nice meal while Carson sat there the whole time without saying boo! He smiled and played with his toys and moved to the music but was no problem at all. I wonder how long that will last? When we returned to the room it was time for Daddy to feed his boy for the first time. Carol mixed up some cereal stuff that I call Russian gruel. She wasn't sure how to mix it and it ended up being too watery so she had to add some more gruel to the mixture. The end result was a really big bowl of gruel! We figured he'd eat a few spoonful's and that would be it but boy were we wrong. I was sitting on the couch with Carson in my lap and I put the bowl of gruel on the table beside the couch. The kid was like a crazed dog going after that stuff! I couldn't shovel it into him fast enough. I was honestly having trouble trying to feed him with one hand and restrain him form attacking the bowl with the other. He ended up eating almost the whole bowl with the exception of what landed on my white shirt. Lesson learned! I would have to say that, with all my experience traveling around the world, the Russians make the best gruel.

After dinner Carson and I had a two hour wrestling match on the sofa. I dominated him for the first half hour then he proceeded to slowly wear me down over the next hour and a half. Carson won a unanimous decision. I kept thinking to myself: "is this guy ever going to tire out!"

I would like to thank everyone for all the email messages and words of encouragement. We are really homesick this trip and it is nice to hear from everyone back home. I am saving every message and also every baby shower card to show Carson once he is old enough to understand. Perhaps I can enlist the services of my creative sisters to help put together a Life Book for Carson so that he can learn about this adventure and see how much everyone was rooting for him to make it back to Canada.

It is now 3:10 am and hopefully Carson will sleep through the night. I had better get some rest 'cause we have a rematch first thing in the morning! Oh-oh, spoke too soon...he's waking up! Where's that box of gruel!!!

Later,

Johnny



Russia Trip 2 - Log 5: "Don't worry..."

It's Tuesday January 25, 2005, 3:15 pm Moscow time. After an overnight 7 and a half hour train ride we arrived in Moscow this morning at 6:15 am. Unfortunately we were not able to get booked at the same hotel as last time, the Ukraine. Instead we're stuck in another depressing, ill-equipped establishment. The good news is that we will be receiving our Canadian Visa for Carson today and have already changed our travel plans to return to Canada tomorrow. THANK GOD!! My patience has been severely tested the past 10 days with all the inconveniences here and it all came to a head today when I went to dial in from our hotel room and realized that the phone cable did not have the right connector type. My modem requires an RJ11 jack; unfortunately they use a different technology here....bare wire and electrical tape! I'm not kidding. We just can't get a break this trip. When you receive this email I will hopefully will be sitting safe and sound in the comfort of my own home.

Carson has been amazing though all of this chaos and moving around. He gets cranky when he wakes up but settles down once he gets his belly full and is all smiles from then on until he tires out. I'm sure we'll have our moments but I think I really lucked out with this little guy. I hope he feels the same way about me. Carol has also been amazing in looking after Carson and showing me the ropes. She was able to comfort Carson on the train and basically had him sleeping the whole way at the expense of her own sleep. Meanwhile I'm flaked out in the other bunk snoring away. It's great to have great sisters! Thanks to Carol I think I'm just about ready to fly solo....actually I guess I really have no choice! Come to think of it I haven't seen Mom in some time...maybe I'll see if she would like to come over and stay a few days...you know, so we can talk and get back in touch.

As I said, as much as I've enjoyed experiencing this very unique culture I just can't wait to get back to the comforts of home. I've determined that if there's one thing this country needs, more than political or economic reform, more than any new weapons, more than infrastructure renewal.....it's a PLUMBER! I'm not talking about one of these Russian jokers in the overalls; I'm talking about a good, no-nonsense Canadian plumber with a beer gut and his pants hanging halfway down the crack of his ass. These guys are miracle workers. In fact they should fly an army of Canadian plumbers over here to fix every single toilet, sink and bathtub in the country. It is virtually impossible to get any water pressure here and when you do it's only cold water and I still haven't found a toilet that flushes properly. Our first morning in Nihzhiy we found out that there was no hot water in our room. We reported it to the hotel folks and when we returned to the room that afternoon our door was open and there were these two Russian plumbers in there trying to get things working. The two reminded me exactly of those two Russian cable installers in one of the early Seinfeld episode. I peeked in to watch them for a few seconds and it was hilarious: The big guy is down on all fours making some adjustments with a wrench. Then he starts yelling at the other guy who starts yelling back then turns on the hot water tap. A little trickle of water comes out then they start yelling at each other at the same time. The big guy then makes another adjustment and it starts over again. I got a good chuckle out of it. We ended up getting a new room 'cause they couldn't fix it. Of course, afterward they helped themselves to our Granola Bars and juice because, as everyone knows, in Russia the plumber has the run of the house. It's tradition.

This morning after checking in to the hotel we went to the Canadian Embassy to register Carson for his Visa to get into Canada. The process took about 5 minutes, from the time we entered the building and went through the metal detector to the time we left the build. We then went to the Aeroflot office to change our air tickets from Friday to Wednesday. We walked in and were serviced by a clerk right away and left the building the better part of an hour later. This goes to highlight another aspect of Russian life that has become extremely frustrating. This is the most inefficient society that you can ever imagine. I'm convinced that these inefficiencies are by design to create jobs because some of the things we've experienced are beyond comprehension. Every process is done manually and by brute force. Our experience when we arrived last week at the Moscow airport is a perfect example of the way things work here....

We were carrying a baby stroller with us and checked it as regular luggage on the Ottawa to Toronto flight. It got a little banged up so when we checked in at Aeroflot in Toronto we asked if they could wrap it for us. The lady said the best thing to do was to bring it with us and check it at the Jet Bridge. Perfect...or so I thought. Just as were boarding I receive a little sticker for the stroller with a number on it. I drop the stroller off just outside the door of the plane and verify with the flight attendant that I'm leaving it in the right place. I've travelled a lot for business the past 5 years and standard procedure for all airlines is that luggage checked at the Jet Bridge is returned to you on the Jet Bridge as soon as you exit the plane. Apparently Aeroflot goes about this a bit differently. So we're basically the first people off the plane and I'm waiting around for the stroller but it never arrives. An Indian lady is also there waiting for her stroller. Finally, after everyone else has exited, the flight attendant tells us that the strollers will come out with the rest of the luggage. I thought they were surely mistaken so I asked a couple of more times and they assured me the stroller would be there. As we're walking to the luggage area I'm thinking to myself..."Wait a minute, these strollers aren't tagged other than with a little sticker with a number. How will the luggage handlers know what stroller gets dropped off in Moscow and which one gets checked through to India? This system is flawed!"

Sure enough we are able to pick up our 3 other pieces of luggage but no stroller. So I go up to the Aeroflot lost luggage desk and asked the two gentlemen there if they speak English. "Of course Sir" they reply...in a very friendly tone. I explain the situation and hand one of the guys my little sticker with the number on it. The fellow immediately gives me back the sticker and makes a phone call. He then gets off the phone and tells me: "Don't worry sir, we get stroller...but it take...hmmmm...maybe 20, 25 minutes." So I give him the sticker and say: "I guess you'll need to write down this number?" He replies: "Don't worry sir, we no need number". Then I start describing the stroller and he interrupts, "don't worry, we no need description". So I say to him: "then how will you know which stroller is mine" and the other guy pipes in: "don't worry sir, don't worry, we give you best stroller!" At that point all four of us start to laugh!! Sure enough 20 minutes later 2 strollers come out on the luggage belt. Mine and without a doubt the stroller of the Indian lady who was with us at the Jet Bridge. I can just imagine this poor lady at the Aeroflot desk in India..."don't worry Madame...we find stroller...it take hmmm...maybe 3 days....please have seat". Totally inefficient!!

Tonight we are going to pick up the completed Visa paperwork then we are heading to the home of our friend Albert who is treating us to dinner. Albert is the Father of Iouri who works for Carol at IBM in Ottawa. Albert's wife Galina is currently in Quebec City visiting their daughter so Albert is flying solo himself tonight. I'm sure it will be another interesting experience.

I'm out,

JK


Russia Trip 2 - Log 6: "Olga the Great"

It's Wednesday January 26, 2005, 9:14 pm Moscow time. I am writing this from the plane on the way back to Toronto. Surprisingly, the flight was 5 hours late in departing so we had to spend 7 hours at the Moscow airport. I'm back in row 35 while Carol is up in the first row of economy class. The flight attendant suggested one of us move back so that the baby will have a place to flake out since this plane is not equipped with bassinets. So here I am back with the common folk. I have a whole middle row of 3 seats to myself so I also may opt to flake out later. Quite the crowd back here. The guy in the window seat beside me has got his shoes and socks off and has one foot pulled up to his chest and appears to be doing some work on his toes! Interesting! The one great thing about this seat is that I'm being served from both sides. A flight attendant came down the left hand aisle and asked if I would like something to drink..."you know a white wine would be great". A minute later the flight attendant on the right side makes the same offer..."you know what, I've been dying to try your white wine". And everyone said that this single parenting thing would be tough!

Actually I've just been up to see Carson and Carol and Carson is sound asleep, happy as can be. He has not made one negative peep all day sitting around that airport. I must be the greatest parent of all time! And don't forget Carol, she's helping out too!

Now I have been hearing through the grapevine that some of the stay-at-home mothers back in Ottawa are getting a bit nervous about my parenting experiment. Seems they are a little worried that us men of the world are going to find out that this "stay at home with the kids" gig is not as difficult as they've been making it out to be. Trust me boys, if I find out that it's nothing but Dr. Phil, Bonbons, and trips to the beauty parlour to get your toes done, I'll blow the lid off this whole scam!! Never again will there be an acceptable excuse for not having dinner ready when you return home from a hard days work. Never again will she be able to refuse a request for a weekend away with the boys on the basis of: "I've been stuck in this house all week with these rotten' kids while you're out living it up, now you expect me to stay home all weekend while you go boozing it up with your stupid friends...blah, blah, blah...". (note: If she's really pissed she'll use the word "gallivanting" in place of "boozing it up"!). Gents, this could be a giant leap forward for mankind!

And if, by chance, I discover that staying at home with the kids is as tough, or even tougher than they've been telling us.....then I will apologize to each and every one of these wonderful young ladies. Maybe they'll take pity on me and offer to babysit so that I can get some "quality time" in with the boys....

Our evening at Albert's home last night was great. Albert owns a business in Russia which manufactures therapeutic medical equipment and was responsible for organizing a conference this week. Still he found time to entertain us and he also invited two gentlemen from the conference to join us. Both men were from France with one being originally from Martinique. It was a very intellectual crowd with interesting conversation...a bit of a change from my normal night at the Val with the boys, arguing for hours over the NFL fair catch rule! Last night, whenever I felt the subject was getting over my head I would pretend that I couldn't quite understand the English translation. Overall I think I held my own for a beer drinking knucklehead. I did ask one question of Albert that I was quite curious about. Albert has spent the better part of his life working for the Russian space agency so I asked him what the feeling was in Russia when Armstrong set foot on the moon, essentially winning the space race for the Americans. If I understood the translation properly he stated very honestly that this came as a huge disappointment to the Russian lunar program on which he had worked personally. Up until that point the Russians had always been the first to achieve all the great milestones in space and Albert stated that they firmly believed that they would be the first to reach the moon. He stated that the death in 1966 of the Russian engineer named Sergei Korolev, who was the father of the Russian space program, had a lot to do with the delays in achieving their goal. Jean Louis, the man from France who was there then went on to describe the interesting circumstances behind Korolev's death. Seems he had an appendix attack that required surgery. Because he was such an important man the Russians enlisted a famous doctor and scholar to do the surgery. The problem is this guy hadn't cut anyone open in 20 years and botched the surgery, resulting in Korolev's death. Any practicing surgeon could have done the surgery with his eyes closed but they had to have the perceived best. In Jean Louis' words, "typically Russian".

Also present at the dinner was our translator here in Moscow, Olga. Olga is an amazing woman. She takes great care of us and managed to take care of everyone last night at dinner, giving Albert a hand preparing and serving dinner even though she barely knows him. I did not really get to know Olga very well last trip but I have grown to admire her on this visit. She is a very beautiful woman, I would say in her early 50's. She is all of 5 foot 2 inches tall and maybe 110 pounds but she is very tough and resilient. Every time we arrive with our luggage she is always grabbing the largest and heaviest pieces to carry by herself. Picture this little woman dragging both of our large suitcases, which must weigh about 60 pounds each, up a flight of icy stairs, with the baby stroller strapped across her back. Meanwhile I'm following up a few steps behind carrying nothing but a diaper bag..."Careful Olga!! You're gonna scuff the @#%&in' stroller!!" Ha, ha, ah, ha, I'm just kidding, of course...but she really does always go after the heavy bags. I have to physically pry them away from her and give her something lighter to carry. She also seems to be obsessed with making sure everything goes smoothly. She waited the whole time with us at the airport today and she probably counted our luggage 20 times to make sure we still had all of our things. She also visited the Aeroflot office about 20 times getting an update on our flight and must have forced me 10 times to verify that I still had our passports and plane tickets. I was really getting a kick out of her. We were so lucky to have so many great people like Olga and Natalia in Nizhniy Novgorod looking after us this trip. The trip was difficult enough as is, I would hate to think what it would have been like without these two amazing women.

Well it is 10:10 pm and they just turned out the lights to indicate that it's officially snooze time. I think I'll run up to make sure Carol and Carson are comfortable then see if I can grab a few hours sleep.

Talk to ya' back in Canada,

JK